


A Study on Dubious Morality

by Party_Flavor



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Dubious Morality, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, POV Second Person, Reader has strong personality, Reader-Insert, Spoilers, Swearing, Touch-Starved, no proof-reading we die like mne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Party_Flavor/pseuds/Party_Flavor
Summary: You'll do what it takes to destroy Mint Eye and you'll succeed.  This is a story about the how, the why and the aftermath.Takes place in the context of V's route. Contains spoilers for all routes. Will be best understood with knowledge of the story.
Relationships: Choi Saeran & Reader, Rika (Mystic Messenger)/Reader
Kudos: 18





	A Study on Dubious Morality

“Would you love me? Would you embrace my demon? I know I would embrace yours” Her arms wrapped around you and her hair softly touched your torso. Your heartbeat accelerated wildly, and your limbs tingled, but you hid it with a cold smile.

“Would you really?” You replied. “Would you embrace my darkest fantasies?” She hummed, not thinking it necessary to answer a rhetorical question.”Would you accept me if what I wanted most was to destroy this place?” She frowned and stepped away from you.

“You’re judging it through your own moral lense” 

“Now, who said anything about morality? Maybe, it’s existence is inconvenient to me right now, or maybe I just relish in destroying things.” You gestured wildly, and she pondered your question for a few seconds. 

“I don’t need this place to be happy. If you were to love me unconditionally I wouldn’t mind it’s destruction” You exhaled in frustration, and looked around as if that would help you visualize the right thing to say. 

“What If I wanted to kill you? What if I wanted to make you suffer?” Quickly you decided to change the train of thought. “What if I found pleasure in maiming myself beyond repair? In starving until my body wasted away? In drowning kittens?” She contorted her lips in repulsion, and a small part of you relished in making her uncomfortable, the same way this entire cult made you uncomfortable.

“I don’t see the point of your questions. I can tell you’re not that type of person, you don’t want such things”

“Just think about it, Rika…” You dropped the cocky act, and in a heartbeat the conversation was over. 

***

“Why did you do it!?” 

“Yoosung-” He cut you off in a fit of rage.

“No! Shut up! Why would you do something so horrible? She’s a wonderful person and you threw away her trust! You don’t even look guilty!” Tears started spilling from his eyes. “Was everything just a farce? The way you acted in the chat? How you encouraged all of us? Were you lying the whole time?” 

“I doubt the others know you’re here” You said softly.

“What does that have to do with anything!?” He screeched and you rolled your eyes.

“Just… humor me, please”

“No… they don’t know I’m here” He looked at you in the eye, with no trace of shame. A reflection of his growth over the past few days.

“Why did you decide to come anyway?”

“Because I needed answers! I can’t just stay still! I don’t understand anything, and they won’t tell me, they won’t even let me see her.” His appearance was unkempt, and the lack of sleep was painted on his face.

“So, you were distressed, tired, and needed to do things for yourself. You couldn’t stay still anymore watching bad things happen.” He flinched in indignation, catching on to the point you were making. 

“That’s not-”

“Yoosung, look around you. Look at V, look at Saeyoung, look at the victims. I know you’re not stupid. You know that what was happening in that place is far from salvation.” Desperation creeped through your voice. “I don’t pretend to be some sort of hero who eliminates the villain. I just made a choice that would lessen the overall suffering” 

“Luciel would have saved you” 

“Maybe. Or maybe he would have gotten caught, or maybe he would have been too late, or maybe it wouldn’t have been enough” He looked ready to argue when a police officer banged loudly on the bars of the cell, startling you both. 

“Visit is over” She announced, leaving no room for argument. He followed wordlessly, and soon faded from your sight, leaving grey walls as only source of entertainment.

***

“I think I understand what you meant in our last conversation. I’ve been searching through my thoughts for answers this whole time” She smiled at you, and you noticed she was dressed in a close fitting, wine red gown. You gave yourself the liberty to sit on the stairs right by her armchair. “You’ve been fooled before, so you want to make sure I’m not trying to manipulate you or make promises I can’t keep. I can understand that” She had definitely not understood what you had meant in your last conversation. 

“Do you have an answer for me?” You asked her, not unkindly. She reached out to pet you hair and you could immediately feel your thoughts getting scattered around. You had been without friendly touch for a while now. 

“I won’t try to convince you with pointless platitudes. Instead I have a gift for you. I hope that it will help you trust me more and more” You turned and looked up at her in amazement and expectation. Of all her possible responses you hadn’t considered a gift as one.

“Does that make you happy?” She smiled, before taking out a white cloth and handing it over to you. Your eyes were glued in the object, desperate to find out what it was. Slowly you unraveled a dagger, safely stored in an ornamental sheath. Your hands trembled in surprise, but you gripped the handle firmly to pull out a few inches of a really sharp blade; surprised, you put it inside once again. 

“I- I don’t understand” you exclaimed, baffled.

“I noticed that many of the things you spoke of require a weapon. I want you to carry this with you at all times while you’re here” 

“But, why?” 

“I can’t promise that I’ll sit idly and let you do as you wish. However, I want you to feel free to let out your darkness. And when you do I will do my best to accept and understand it” Her answers left many ways in which her reasoning could once again be questioned, but at the same time she had given you many things to consider. 

“Thank you…” You weren’t sure if this was something to be grateful about.

***

They cuffed you and led you from your cell to a secluded room with a table in the middle of it, on one side sat a government agent, and on the other Jahee Kang. You sat down, baffled.

“I’ll be honest, I thought the circumstances of our first meeting would be quite different.” She graced you with a tiny smile.

“Yes” You blurted, before giving space to an uncomfortable silence.

“I’m here to request your consent to cede the defense of your case to Han Jumin” Your jaw dropped and you stared at Jaehee, noticing the contract she had brought with her.

“But… why?” She peered at the government agent beside you, and they cleared their throat.

“The accused may ask questions related to her case in front of a government agent. Once a lawyer has been designated they may talk privately” Jaehee nodded and proceeded to answer. 

“The members of the RFA have different opinions about you. Yoosung seemed to hate you at first, but after talking to you he looked thoughtful and melancholic. Zen has a reluctant understanding of your actions. Both V and the person you know as Ray are in the hospital right now and unable to give their opinion.” You took in her words, and tried to picture the conversations happening on the chat. 

“And Luciel?” You asked.

“He’s been absent for some time. We don’t know what he’s thinking right now, but as you called the police and emergency services that day, the media was quick to catch on, your case went viral. Families and friends of the victims of mint eye have declared their support for you and most people have joined them.” Your heartbeat raced with the sudden influx of shocking information, each more unexpected than the last.

“I’m guessing the truth has been greatly distorted...” You sighed, as more and more implications raced through your head.

“You are correct. Some identities have thankfully been protected by law, but yours wasn’t one of them, there were too many witnesses. I will get to the point. Right now, the RFA supporting you is the only way it will maintain trustworthiness and survive as a fundraiser” The news made your heart heavy. You wanted to be able to stay friends with them, and not facing punishment would make that tiny possibility more remote still. Not to mention it was unfair how they were backed into a corner like this, burdened to take responsibility for a twisted fraction of the truth. 

“I will accept your proposition” The words had almost gotten stuck in your throat. “And will you tell them that-” That you were sorry? What good would that do? “...that I never meant to deceive them. That I hope they can still be friends after all of this, and- wait, no one has told me” You leaned in, unsure if you deserved an answer but selfishly willing to take the risk. “How is she?”

“She will recover.” Was Jaehee’s curt response. You recognized that was all you were getting.

***

“You’re not supposed to be here” Ray greeted you when you found him in your old room sulking.

"I snuck out” It was the middle of the night but in the darkness the soft exterior light accentuated your mischievous expression.

“The saviour will be mad…” He hesitated

“It’s okay, I’ll explain it to her. I’ll tell her I made you stay against your will” You tried to convey reassurance but his face fell even more.

“You’re being kind to me when I don’t deserve it. I’m really happy you’re here with me, even if my saviour told me not to. I’m disgusting. I’ll sound desperate and you’ll grow tired of me” He ran his hand through his hair, and eventually started pulling. Alarmed, but keeping a cool exterior, you placed your hand above his and softly moved it to his chest. “I’m being pathetic, aren’t I?”

You shushed him, like one does a spooked cat. 

“It’s okay, how about we talk about something else?” Before he could answer, you guided him to the bed and sat beside him. “Tell me about Rika. Why do you call her saviour?”

“Using her name is a privilege only you have, because you’re special” You hid a grimace at that. “To rest of us, she is our saviour, he gives us the elixir and brings us happiness” 

“But why do you need the elixir to be happy?” He turned away from you as soon as you spoke.

“We are not like you. We were born in the darkness, we can’t stand on our own, we are filled with pain and fear. Without the elixir we can’t be happy.” You didn’t immediately answer, feeling completely out of your depth. There was no way you would be able to counter years of brainwashing in just one talk, the only thing you could do is try to take a glimpse at it’s foundation.

“But Ray… you’re one of the best hackers of the country. You could blackmail important people and make them give you anything you wanted. In fact, You could stand on your own better than me.” You tried to smile at him, but it came out pained and forced.

“No no no, you don’t understand. I can only be skilled when I do what my saviour said. If I went outside I wouldn’t know what to do, I would be helpless, they would lock me up” His voice raised to a frantic tone and with every word the realization dawned on you how badly this place had twisted him and transformed him into a dependant and devoted shell.

“How can you be so sure that’s what would happen?”

“Because the savour told me!” He replied in earnest. Of course. That woman… How could you be focused on playing games with her, just expecting someone to come save you. You felt disgusted with yourself, about how self-centered you’d been, how dismissive of Rika’s true condition. She didn’t need games, she needed… something else certainly, even if you weren’t sure what. 

“She did?…Sounds like she taught you lots of things” You used your anger to gather enough will to keep your voice soft and accepting. “Would you tell me more?” 

***

You had gone through a worrying amount of wine. You were in formalwear, trying to remain inconspicuous in the RFA party. Having exchanged emails with you, many of the guests had requested it be delayed until you were declared innocent. You couldn’t let their patience be wasted, still it was incredibly uncomfortable to share space with people who were pissed at you.

“Maybe we should give you the entire bottle” You recognized the voice instantly, but hadn’t thought he would show up, but then again your sense of time was still skewed after spending day after day in prison.

“Luciel… no, Saeyoung” You greeted him without looking up from your glass. 

“Ah- Hey” A second voice spoke and you immediately looked up. He looked different but there was no mistake, you could see it in his eyes, in his stiff posture, in the defiant rage that accompanied his gaze.

“Saeran!” You exclaimed, and handed your cup to Saeyoung so you could give his brother a hug. You didn’t care if he would insult you or hurt you in that moment. His well being had been one of your priorities in making the decision you had, and you’d be damned if anything was going to take from you the joy in having succeeded.

“Hey there” Saeran greeted you. He looked like he hadn’t seen you move from a few meters away to his arms. 

“You know I feel a little insulted,” Saeyoung complained. “I’ll drink your wine as revenge.”

“Shut up” Saeran muttered, rolling his eyes. You stepped back without letting go of him, so you could make sure he was fine. His hair was red now, but you could see his eyes were the same.

“What, how, why?” And then, you looked between the two men back and forth. “Wait- you’re twins?”

“You didn’t know?” 

“Hey, I’m not all-knowing, even if I may give that impression” You defended yourself. Another thought immediately burst out your mouth. “You’re not mad at me?” You asked, looking at Saeran. 

“I have a lot of complicated feelings. I don’t hate Rika, but I don’t hate what you did either.” You were skeptical of this.

“I lied to you. I tricked you so you would meet your brother.”

“Yeah, why did you do that? You didn’t know the truth.” Saeyoung intervened.

“It was something she seemed adamant couldn’t happen. And you read his chats, I trusted you would understand him and help him” Even while explaining your reasoning, you were expectant of Saeran’s answer

“Look… you spent many weeks in jail, you risked your life in taking down Mint Eye, and as a result I can finally feel like a human being” He softly guided you hands away from him, and you complied without resistance. “You did many things I wish you fucking hadn’t!” He made eye contact so you would understand he was completely serious. “But I’m not mad” You nodded, feeling touch starved all over again.

“Seven!” You exclaimed loudly, and proceeded to hug the man in question. “Look at him! He’s so happy, so healthy” You whispered to Saeyoung in exaggerated amazement. 

“I know, I know”

*** 

One moment she was holding a small vial of elixir in her hands, right above your mouth, with a kind expression, and the other she was stumbling back, her hand bleeding, confusion all over her body language. One second you were lying down, playing the part of an eager participant, and the next you were stabbing her hand. You could almost hear her heart break, her desperation, and in that moment you hated the person you had become. You hated the decision you had made, but you couldn’t find a better path that would guarantee the destruction of Mint Eye. 

She started to struggle, so you used your dagger to stab her lower torso on one side, and quickly put a cloth over her face so she couldn’t make noise or breath. You weren’t confident this would be non lethal, your only choice was to trust your knowledge.

As soon as she was unconscious you got to work, you cut up your cape into bandages to stop the bleeding, you tied her up in case she woke up, and you called Saeran so he wouldn’t be caught by police. His dark persona was angry, and hateful towards you, but still trusted the bond between you and Rika enough to believe you spoke in her name. 

Next, you called the police. You told them as many details as you could and you barricaded the room with everything you could find in hand. In those agonizing moments between success and failure you contemplated her face, now relaxed and unaware. Maybe in a different lifetime things could have been better, but not here and not now. 

***

An empty apartment, a shitty soap opera, and a bland cup of instant noodles were interrupted by a call on your cell phone. You considered ignoring it, no one had a reason to call you these days; but something inside you convinced you to pick it up.

“Hello?” You asked groggily.

“Good night. It’s me”

“Jihyun” 

“How have you been?” His attempts at diplomacy angered you, while making you feel ashamed. You weren’t who he thought, pure, innocent and good, yet he tried to act like he hadn’t noticed. 

“Good. I’m sorry but I would like to know why you called me”

“Rika wants to see you”

“What?” You couldn't begin to comprehend what he had just said. 

“She constantly asks about you. The doctors say it will bring her closure to see you again” His voice sounded tired.

“Well, I say they’re wrong! I literally stabbed her!” You felt the need to point out, seeing as people were acting like they’d forgotten.

“I know, as does Rika” He didn’t push any arguments. Had you really become so transparent that he could tell you’d already made up your mind?

“When can I drop by?” It was easier to drop the pretense than to keep it up.

“Tomorrow at 10 am. I’ll send you the address” 

. “Okay”

“And I also wanted to say sorry” You would ask why, but you felt it was pointless now. He would always find one reason or another to apologize.

“You apologize too much V. See you tomorrow.”

That night you were restless. You felt really tired and worn out, like the world should just give you a break. Far from the person Rika had found so fascinating. You would at least try to look nice, comb out your hair, wear perfume and the like. When you saw her she was far from elegant as well, just a white shirt and a long skirt.

They didn’t live in cells like movies show. It was mostly a communal house with very strict rules. There was a couch and a low table you sat in, right next to Zen, who agreed to supervise.

“Your betrayal helped me understand many things” She started, not bothering to greet you. You respected her wishes and limited yourself to listening. “I’m very hurt and angry. But others are thankful. The people I saved are really happy to be ‘free’” You looked down at your lap, unsure what she expected.

“You’re different from what I thought,” Rika continued. “Will you at least give me a reason? Why you hated Mint Eye, why you hated me?”

“I don’t know if I can satisfy you. I’m not good at philosophy, I couldn’t prescribe some deeper meaning to it all. People were suffering, Saeran was suffering, you were suffering. I put an end to it in the only way I could see.”

“Are you sorry? Do you regret it?”

“I don’t know… I regret some of it. I’m glad it’s over.” You shrugged.

“You’re not like back then. You were mischievous and full of energy. Considering you won, you should feel good.” It felt a bit like nagging.

“I think… feelings are complicated. I guess I just feel lonely, and unworthy of company” You faked laughter to defuse the depressing atmosphere. 

“Stop being so pitiful. You sound like Ray.” You felt annoyed that she mentioned him so nonchalantly, but you also knew exactly what you would tell Ray if he was in your position.

“I guess I’ll start taking my own advice” You both tried to relax before diving right in to the conversation.

“I hurt you. I imprisoned you, and used you to hurt others. I don’t blame you for not loving me. It’s been brought to my attention that it’s impossible to love someone under those conditions. And I see that you were trying to tell me that”

“Well, I was stupid. And then I manipulated you. And I’m not sure if the whole stabbing thing was necessary to knock you out.” It felt good to finally get it off your chest. 

“Will you visit me again?” She looked up at you. She seemed less hopeful, less maniac, and a little worse for wear; so overall more reliable.

“Yeah, I will” 

  
  



End file.
